Changes during puberty are so rapid, uncertain and unexpected that it affects most children by causing discomfort, confusion and distress. Those not aware of such puberty changes are affected most.

Despite much awareness through sex education most girls are taken by surprise by their first menstrual period, and some boys by their first ejaculation. 

Change in size and shape of body parts specially breasts for girls and genital region for both keep them worrying whether what has happened to them is normal.

Help from peers in this situation is likely to add misconceptions rather than removing their doubts and anxiety.

Parents can play important role at this time by talking to their children about growing up and developing sexuality. 

If parents have already discussed this topic earlier, they can give an informative book to their child which not only informs them about the changes anticipated, but also resolve their doubts and answers commonly asked questions.

Even the best-informed adolescent may have doubts for which parents are looked upon for authentic guidance.

Adolescents appear to be rebels and seem to treat their parents are aliens, but the fact is they are usually the result of how their parents behave.

Our children watch us for every action of ours, how we express values in different situations, how we take responsibility of our failures and mistakes, how we respond to mistakes and failures of others.

More importantly, they are greatly impressed and influenced when parents themselves do what they say.

Parents should learn to build trust so that children share their feelings during their tough phases; and have realistic expectations after understanding their qualities and limitations

Parents with loving relationship have positive effects on behaviour as well as sexuality of their child, even though they are unable to talk openly about sex to child.

It is also important to give age appropriate, culture specific and value based Sex Education to every child after 9 years of age, to expect responsible attitude and behaviour towards sex.

Adolescence is not necessarily a phase when teenagers have disturbed relations with parents.

Feeling of generation gap comes only when parents compare behaviour of their children with their own growing period. Changing time will always have different environment and children are bound to follow trends of their friends to feel one of them on their way to adulthood.

At the same time, general behaviour of growing children even today still shows high degree of dependence on parents for important matters.

Conflicts between children and parents during adolescence commonly arise over relatively minor matters such as loud music, untidiness, laziness, selfishness or general indiscipline in respect of home rules.

Disapprovals could also be for issues like daughter wearing sexy clothes or going for late evening parties or son getting into habit of smoking.

Adolescents need to understand that, in general, although parents may irritate them by their attitudes, a parents’ main concern is to safeguard their children’s wellbeing.

This period of anxiety could be handled well, if proper guidance is taken by child as well as parent about changes faced by the person during growing stages and learn how to manage them.

Learning to manage children during their first ten years and keeping healthy environment at home shapes our child with desired values and responsibilities to be carried during adolescence and adulthood.

While it is important for adolescents to respectfully allow parents to maintain the family system, it is equally essential for parents to allow adolescents some independence and the right to have a say in the family issues.

This could be because they are obsessed with their own image and style. What is small matter for others such as their dress or hairstyle is in fact the most important thing happening for them, hence cannot be compromised.

Secondly, their priorities differ, like they don’t intend to avoid daily chores, but being in their dream world prevents them from being obedient as expected by their parents.

Most Parents get confused with behaviour of their child during adolescence. Especially when the child suddenly demands privacy, becomes rude or arrogant, avoids family events, and prefers spending endless time with friends.

During adolescence, most teenagers have strong sexual feelings, think a lot about sex and find themselves sexually aroused on many occasions.

Onset of this feeling and its intensity may differ from person to person. In some cases this may be even before puberty sets in. In either case, they may not be ready to have an actual sexual relationship.

Most commonly the person experiences a crush on a teacher, a film or rock star, a relative, or a friend of their brother or sister.

Parents get confused and unprepared when they recognize that their child is developing sexuality.

Today’s parent must understand possibility of their teenager having or looking for a sexual partner.

Hence, it is the best time to give them age appropriate, culture specific and value based Sex Education.

Explaining to them about sexuality, answering their questions, clearing their doubts will help them in understanding and managing emotional and psychological experiences during their growing period.

Informing them about contraception, sexually transmitted Infections and safe sex along with medical and legal consequences will help them to have confidence to take responsible decisions.

This could also help them in guiding their friends correctly.

Most teenage relationships arise out of natural sexual attraction towards opposite sex.

In this phase which is also called infatuation, person overlooks shortcomings in other person and tries to get adjusted even against will.

Teenage is also a phase wherein person learns what is known as adjustments and compatibility.

As the infatuation reduces or disappears and person becomes matured enough to understand the realities about what he or she really needs and wants, there may be sudden or gradual withdrawal from the relationship.

This usually comes as an unexpected jolt for other partner.

Since there is little or no communication to justify separation, receiving person is likely to feel the loss similar to bereavement, when it is the first such experience.

During this time, person needs someone to talk to.

In such situation parents can be of great help.  Although in their perspective the situation is not so serious, a patient listening and “we are with you” feeling is sufficient to relieve the child of depression.

Avoid telling a teenager that they will get over it. Giving them a hearty hug and shoulder to cry on helps in most situations.

Ejaculation indicates that a boy is becoming sexually mature and for most boys, the first ejaculation occurs during their sleep.

As it happens mostly during sleep it is termed as “wet dream”.

It may be due to some sexual feeling or due to rubbing of sensitive part of penis against the bed,

If the boy is not aware of what ‘wet dream’ is, he is likely to get panic and frightened. Waking up with stained bed sheet or pajama could make them feel ashamed and nervous.

He may confuse it with urine or think that he has some disease.

Making boys aware of ‘erection’, ‘ejaculation’ and ‘‘wet dream’ well in advance will help them in getting adjusted to their developmental changes with more comfort.

This task can be undertaken by either parent or by taking them to doctor who is equipped for sex education.

All that they need to know that what is happening to them is normal and good part of their growth.